Help Improve Your Family Relationships

There is a well-known saying that you can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family and although that may seem true, we can end up blaming ourselves when family relationships become strained or don’t work out. Alternatively, you may feel that it’s everyone else in the family who is at fault and if only they changed things would be okay. This might be our relationship with our parents or grandparents, our siblings or in-laws or others in a wider family network. Where children are concerned, we understandably want to have the best relationship we can with them and that’s not always easy, particularly when children become adolescents and start to forge their own identities. At Relate Avon we have experience of people seeking help for a whole range of family situations where relationships have become difficult or broken.

Family Patterns

It we were to ask 10 people what a ‘good’ family looks like we are likely to get 10 different answers. Notions of a ‘happy family’ are often shaped by the media and our culture and upbringing. This can lead to pressure on family members to meet idealised expectations. Sometimes, difficult conversations need to be had to establish boundaries: how much time is spent with each other, how often and in what way we want to communicate with each other, and what support we might want (or don’t want) from one another. And of course, different family members will see issues differently and what feels like a ‘problem’ for one may not be shared by others.

Seeking Help through Family Counselling

Family Counselling with a qualified family counsellor can help family members hear and understand each person’s perspective and how they might want things to be different in the future. This doesn’t always mean a closer relationship. Occasionally counselling might help family members understand how close or distant people in the family want to be; what kind of relationship would work for each member of the family and what that might look like in practice.

Virginia Satir, a renowned family therapist, once said:

‘Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible - the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family’.

You may feel your family is a long way away from this idea of a nurturing family but there may still be lots of positive aspects worth acknowledging. At Relate Avon, we can help you do that as well as talking about more difficult issues.  

Taking that first step to reach out for counselling can be daunting, but it’s also a powerful step toward change. Your counsellor will take time to talk with each family member, both individually and collectively. How the sessions progress will be tailored to your needs and decided between you and your counsellor. This may involve one or two family members or everyone, depending on your goals. Sometimes 3 or 4 sessions are enough, while for others it may be a longer process. You are always in control and will have regular opportunities to discuss progress and adjust as needed.  

If you’re ready to start improving your family relationships, contact us to make an initial appointment. We’re here to help you every step of the way.